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Really want to see you, Ward, but it takes so long, Dan Ward

The sun is shining, the pitch is looking lush, and the work preparing HMS Piss The League continues. Is it really only a year since we were raising money to try to buy the ground and safeguard the club’s future and Richie Wellens gave someone his shirt and told him to get on the pitch and see if he could do better at Avro?

Another Tuesday, another video preview to a signing announcement from Wadmin. Ant and Dec with the periscope this time. Prob could have done with a periscope, it was chucking it down.

Apparently, Dan Ward was actually our first signing of the summer, but he’s been on holiday and I for one am disgusted that he couldn’t be arsed to pop down to Boundary Park to pose for a picture with a scarf before he went. Disgraceful lack of commitment and team spirit. Get rid.

Seriously, it’s another player where the club we’ve signed him from are sorry to see him go. The general consensus from Gateshead seems to be that they’re gutted he’s leaving but they wish him well cos he’s a nice lad and he helped them win the National League North.

Unsworth was keen to praise his work ethic, and claims “he was desperate to come…it means a lot when these players pick up the phone and they’re desperate to come to Oldham”. Well, who wouldn’t be? Kudos to Ward for using the word ‘massive’ repeatedly in his first interview, the lad’s clearly paying attention. Also, his last game for Gateshead was in the FA Trophy final at Wembley, so it’s good that he’s got experience of playing at stadia of the magnitude of Boundary Park.

Wadmin wasn’t done for the day though. The second video on Tuesday was a bit more cryptic, showing David Unsworth watching Peter Kay on his laptop then opening a packet of Hobnobs. I have to admit, I guessed wrong on where they were going here, I thought they were Golden Syrup Hobnobs and we were about to unveil Tyler Golden. Which would have been a REALLY cryptic clue.

Turned out we’d actually signed Southend centre half Shaun Hobson, and while I realise it would have been ridiculously obscure, it would have been funny if the video had been Unsworth drinking a pint of Moonraker in a nod to the pub in the film Hobson’s Choice. It would have also grossly irresponsible, as I presume Unsy drives to and from work and Moonraker is fucking lethal. Also, when I mentioned this to Andy, he pointed out that in the film, Hobson comes out of the pub and falls through an open trapdoor. With all the work going on at Boundary Park right now, it’s probably best to not tempt fate.

Just a suggestion, Wadmin: how about, when we finally sign Tyler Golden, you announce it with Frank eating a packet of Golden Wonder crisps? Contact Golden Wonder now, see if they’ll pay for it.

Anyway, Shaun Hobson wasn’t someone whose name I’d heard mentioned in the transfer rumour mill, but he looks like another good signing. Looking at social media it looks like he was expected to go to an EFL club, so it’s something of a coup. I’ve no idea whether his arrival signals that Yarney is going (which is looking likely after Unsworth’s ‘we won’t be held to ransom’ comment); or, having played on the right of a back 3 at Southend, we’re planning to play him at right back. I guess we’ll see in the preseason friendlies. Obviously clips never tell the full story about a player, but he looks decent on the ball, and this isn’t a bad goal.

Speaking on Thursday, Unsworth said he was hoping to bring “at least one more in before Monday, two if we’re really lucky, and then the third one over potentially the next couple of weeks”, and then we’ll look at the squad and the loan market. It’s all looking pretty promising, and a world away from where we were this time last year.

The other, er, big announcement of the week was the unveiling of the third kit yesterday. It’s not for me. It’s the City keeper kit and selling a ‘Grape-Vine coloured’ kit while still abjectly failing to sell wine in the kiosks is taking the piss. Announce tangerine away kit and wine in the Rocky bar, you cowards.

While we're all getting carried away about the men's team, it would be remiss of me to not congratulate our U15 girls, who won the Failsworth Villa tournament last weekend. The U9s also got to their first ever final. Well done girls. I really hope we'll be seeing you play at Boundary Park soon.

According to some, the big news this week was Chesterfield signing a striker who scored 7 goals in 48 games from a team who just got relegated. The mainstream media won’t tell you this, but people think Will Grigg is better than he is because of the Will Grigg’s On Fire song. By April, the only song anyone will have in their head will be whatever the Athleticos come up with for Kurt Willoughby. KTMFF.

Written by Arlene Finnigan. Photos © Oldham Athletic.

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