I love you Joshua

“Hoping for a goalfest after last Saturday.” Ask, and it will given you; seek, and ye shall find. (Matthew 7:7) Yes, three goals count as a goalfest. Don’t be greedy.

Finally managed to get my OASF Road to the EFL sticker album last Saturday. Don’t worry if you missed out, they're now available online. To my utter delight, I got a Fondop shiny. The day was already made.

There was one change to the starting line-up, with Woods coming back in for Payne. I like Payne, he’s energetic, but I’m not sure what his best position is, and I’m not sure he’s fully fit. He’s a good option to have, though.

I hate to go all Gok Wan, but what the FUCK was their keeper wearing? It looked nice enough from the back, but from the front it looked like a bad acid trip.

Newport are bottom of the league, they’ve just sacked a manager, and they are terrible, which made our first half performance against them a huge disappointment. They had the first chance, with Bobby Kamwa shooting across the face of goal.

They were as awful as I expected, and we were in control of the game without really imposing ourselves. We had plenty of chances. Pett put a good cross into the box from Caprice’s run, but Mellon jnr was under it and headed over. Wright made a good save from Hawkes’ curling shot; Garner couldn’t quite get on the end of Caprice’s ball into the 6-yard box.

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It wasn’t what we were hoping for. Hudson had to make a decent save from Jenkins’ header from a free kick, and Hannant got booked late on in the half. Andy thought it was a foul, our mate Joe thought it was either a red card or a good tackle, I thought it was a 50/50 challenge and both players were going for the ball, and it sounded like a lot of the ground agreed with me. I headed to the bar before half-time and missed about 27 corners.

Mellon snr doesn’t often make subs at half-time, but change was needed. Drummond and Fondop came on for Hannant (who was understandably raging at his booking and looked like he was in danger of getting a second) and Garner, and it changed the game. 53 minutes in, Daniels picked up a loose ball near the centre circle from an awful attempt at a clearance and passed it to Fondop. He passed it to Drummond, who crossed it into Mellon jnr; his header was saved, and Hawkes put away the rebound. Thank fuck for that.

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It looked a lot like our players were trying to play the ball to Drummond whenever they could. Pett played him in, and after some nice footwork on the edge of the box, his shot was saved. Everyone’s absolutely desperate for him to score, and you get the impression he knows how much we’re all behind him and he loves it. His overall play was superb again – his pace scared the shit out of their defence, and he put in a shift in terms of tracking back and putting in tackles.

I have to say, I wasn’t impressed by Mellon jnr screaming at Fondop for shooting instead of passing to him. Firstly, it was a good shot that had to be deflected out for a corner. Secondly, it’s not like young Michael was clean through, Fondop was probably the more likely to score from the position they were both in. Thirdly, you haven’t earned the right to do that, son. Mellon jnr’s a great player, and I get that he’s young and he’s frustrated that he hasn’t scored more. Respect your elders, though. I dare say he wasn’t happy about being subbed for Quigley, either.

It was great teamwork for the second goal. Fondop shrugged off two defenders and played it wide to Robson (what a signing he’s turning out to be, by the way). He switched it to Drummond on the right of the box, who unselfishly squared it for Quigley, who made no mistake from the 6-yard box. Lovely stuff.

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Newport were very much on the ropes at this point. Their keeper made a good save from Daniels, of all people. Hawkes capped off a brilliant performance in the 89th minute, making a great run down the left and getting his second goal with a cracking finish from the left of the penalty area. No one was happier for him than Fondop, who hilariously kissed his boot.

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In stoppage time, Simeu and Payne came on for Daniels and Pett, and Pett handed the captain’s armband to Drummond, who, God bless him, looked absolutely delighted.

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It was a very enjoyable afternoon. Hawkes fully deserved the MOTM award, and the 3-0 scoreline didn’t flatter us. Fondop looked very up for it, and Drummond clearly appreciates everyone’s support.

Shout out to the Finnish Latics who were behind us in the Rocky, by the way. You’re very welcome back anytime. Moomintroll says ‘hei’.

Micky Mellon’s become quite the joker in his post-match interviews, and I’m a big fan of it. Last Saturday, he interrupted at one point to say “I can’t take you seriously with that tache… Is it Dickie Davies?” One for the teenagers, there. He admitted it was “a bit drab first half”, but it was a lot better second half. He praised Hawkes for working so hard on his fitness, and of course had a few kind words for Drummond: “honestly, if you seen him in training, his finishing is incredible”. That goal’s coming.

Hawkes spoke about how difficult it’s been not playing, and how he hadn’t realised how much his lack of game time last season had affected him, and he’s put in a lot of work after training. He was quick to play down scoring the first goal: “I couldn’t really miss, to be honest”. I dunno, son, we’ve missed plenty easier chances this season.

Beating Newport 3-0 was far from the biggest win of the weekend, however. Huge congratulations to the women, who beat Westbury Sports Club 12 (TWELVE) – 2 in the Open Age Challenge Cup. Paige Stopford scored 4, Aimee Peers got a hat-trick (I hope they both got a match ball), Shannon Heffron got a brace, and Caitlin Knowles, Jess Duke and Jessica Muirhead also got on the scoresheet. What a fantastic performance. They’re back in league action this Sunday, away at Hyde (SK14 5PL) at 12:30pm.

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The fans’ forum on Thursday was entertaining. Darren Royle and Luke Rothwell gave updates on how the Sportstown development is coming along, and what the involvement of the Mayoral Development Corporation will bring. Tom Conlon spoke about how tough dealing with his injury has been, and him and Tom Pett reminisced about Wembley and spoke about the depth of the squad, and wisely refused to name their least favourite referee.

Alan Hardy bizarrely asked Micky Mellon about Arne Slot being under pressure at Liverpool – “you think I’m going for it?” He was on fine form, and when we had a chat to him afterwards, he confirmed that he has not applied for the Celtic job. It was funny hearing him talk about his wife asking him the day after young Michael scored on his debut at Cambridge Utd “do you always take off the goalscorers?” And the carnivores among you may have enjoyed Andy asking the two Toms whether Jamie Robson and Joe Quigley have been diving for the bacon butties since joining us from Forest Green. “They both enjoy their lunches”, apparently. Suzanne Geldard’s live feed of the questions is on the Oldham Times website.

Our last trip to Accrington (in the League Cup in August) was one of our worst performances this season. We’re gonna make up for that today, though. We’ll make it to the end of November unbeaten (the Vertu trophy doesn’t count, no one gives two shiny shites about the Vertu trophy), and Drummond will finally break his duck. See you there. KTMFF.

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Written by Arlene Finnigan