U's stole the sun from my heart

ARRRRRRRGH WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK WAS THAT?

It’s hard to remember, or to believe it, now, but I swear, we were honestly the better team in the first half v Cambridge Utd. We’re the only team to have won at their ground in the League this season, and we looked like we were going to have a good go at doing the double over them. Both teams had chances without really looking like scoring, but I thought we had the better of it. Payne had a shot go wide after good work down the right from Caprice and Pett; Hudson made a good save from Pelly Ruddock Mpanzu (what a glorious name), pushing his shot from a tight angle onto the post; Robson had a decent shot from the edge of the box, but it was always rising. Drummond got fouled in the box, again, and nothing was given, again.

We suffered a blow early on when Garner was forced off with a shoulder injury, and I’m sure everyone agreed that Quigley was definitely the best player to replace him and not Fondop.

📸 Phill Smith

It all went to shit in the second half, though. The commentator on the highlights introduced the match as “the battle of the two best defences in the division”. We didn’t look like the second-best defence in the division at Barnet, and we sure as fuck didn’t look like it after the break vs Cambridge.

We made a terrible start when Monthe gave the ball away and Woods challenged Appere on the edge of the box. He went down pretty easily, and I honestly thought that a free kick had been given, and didn’t realise that the referee judged it to have been inside the area until Knight’s penalty hit the back of the net.

From there, we basically collapsed, and fair play to the fan in the Main Stand who the commentary picked up shouting “come on, this is shit”. It really was. Cambridge soon made it 2-0, with Brophy’s header from a good ball into the box not being picked up by anyone, setting up Appere for a tap-in.

Having been somewhat harshly (by which I mean entirely wrongly) shown a yellow card earlier in the half, Quigley was lucky to not get sent off for kicking a Cambridge player in the face. It’s all or nothing with Gentleman Joe, isn’t it? It’s either a complete lack of aggression, or kicking people in the face and make wanker signs at Bristol Rovers fans. Mellon had seen enough, and made a triple substitution 63 minutes in, with Fondop, Taylor and new boy Jalo coming on for Quigley, Stevens and Drummond. Again, I’m not sure bringing Drummond off was the right move. They seemed like reasonably attacking subs, though.

I wasn’t hugely impressed with the referee, but I did appreciate him awarding us something of a collectors’ item. Appere went down like a sack of shit under pressure from Daniels, falling on and handling the ball in anticipation of a Cambridge free kick. Instead, the referee awarded a free kick to us for his handball.

Unfortunately, we’re still insisting on letting Woods take all our free kicks for some reason, so what should have been an opportunity for us to get back into the game instead resulting in Cambridge hitting us on the break and going straight up the other end and Appere making it 3-0. Fucking hell.

Shout out to the lads behind us who spent the last 20 minutes debating whether to stay or not. Apparently, their logic was that they might as well stay because there was no chance they’d get a seat on the bus. I’d have been tempted to walk all the way back to Lees, lads, fair play to you for staying until almost full time.

Why we didn’t fuck off home or to the bar I don’t know. Jalo had a half decent shot on the turn after getting the ball with his back to goal, but it was well over, him and Taylor both looked lively, but we never really looked like scoring and Cambridge looked dangerous every time they were on the ball. The fourth official cruelly signalled 5 minutes stoppage time; the referee mercifully played slightly less. What an utter shitshow.

On the plus side, I got a Frank shiny from OASF’s sticker swap shop before the game. It genuinely was the highlight of the day.

Mellon was justifiably pissed off at the performance: “frustrated with us, angry with us, disappointed with us…. it’s boiling me to be honest”. The only praise was for Hudson – “I thought my goalkeeper was very, very good again” – and he made it clear that he wants and expects better: “Oldham will, and has to, find a team that’s challenging at the right end of the table”. Amen to that.

📸 Phill Smith

Changes are needed, and changes were made before the transfer window closed on Monday. Last Sunday we announced the permanent signing of Bradford City striker Calum Kavanagh on a two-and-a-half-year contract. He’s 22, and signing him on a long-term deal suggests Mellon is looking to build a team beyond the expiration of his own contract in the summer. His Wikipedia says that he’s 5ft3, and I’m looking forward to seeing how accurate that is. Bradford fans speak very highly of him and his part in their promotion last season, so this looks a great bit of business.

📸 Phill Smith

Not a good as us selling Joe Quigley for a reported six-figure fee, though. Six figures for a 29 year old striker who didn’t score at all last season despite mostly playing up front on his own for Forest Green, who we didn’t pay a penny for, who hasn’t been starting for us, and whose most notable contribution this season has been making wanker signs at the fans of the club that’s just paid good money for him? Absolutely remarkable work.

Apparently Steve Evans said, “I’ve known Joe as an opponent for many years, and up-close against my teams, and I can say our centre-backs have never had an easy afternoon when he’s been in the opposition side.” Except…. Joe Quigley has only ever played against a side managed by Steve Evans once, 8 years ago, coming off the bench for Bromley against Peterborough. Has Steve Evans confused Joe Quigley with Scott Quigley? It’s better if we say that Steve Evans has confused Joe Quigley with Scott Quigley. Anyway, good luck Joe, I look forward to you scoring and making wanker signs at the Athleticos a week on Tuesday, and I really won’t begrudge you it.

Thank fuck, once again, for our women’s team, who beat Hindley Juniors on penalties in the Open Age Challenge Cup last Sunday. After going 1-0 down early on, goals from Shannon Heffron and Liv Newton saw us 2-1 up at half-time. Despite dominating the second half, we couldn’t take our chances (sounds familiar) and Hindley equalised to take the game to penalties. Keeper Laila Stanley was the hero in the shootout, which we won 3-2. They’re away at West Didsbury and Chorlton at Chorlton Sports Club (M21 7BL) in the league this Sunday, KO 2pm.

📸 Oldham Athletic

Another lunchtime kick off at another pain-in-the-arse-to-get-to southern ground today. Thanks Sky. This must be what it’s like to be Liverpool, except without the trophies. Some of us are old enough to remember Swindon v Oldham being a Premier League fixture. And look at us both now. Is it too early to start on the Jagerbombs? You probably already have. Have a great day. KTMFF.

📸 Phill Smith

Written by Arlene Finnigan