Something's up with Jack

Thanks to Will for writing last week’s blog. Hope you and the rest of OASIS had a great time at Crawley, Will, and I feel obliged to point out that I’m simply taking back the blog reins this week and you absolutely didn’t disgrace yourself at a curry house in Crawley and get so incapacitated that you were incapable of reporting back for us.

As Will correctly pointed out, I did not miss the Walsall game because I was watching Real Madrid v Man City, I missed it because I was at Manchester Uni student union watching Divorce. They’re great, by the way, you should definitely check them out and go to see them if you get chance.

It’s been quite a busy few weeks for gigs, and I also didn’t go to Crawley because we went to see Inspiral Carpets at the Albert Hall instead. I’m very happy with that choice. Kudos to you if you made the trek down south on the second to last Saturday before Christmas.

They’re not especially likeable, are they, Crawley? A lad who I’m friends with on Bluesky described them as the “deadest team on the planet”. He’s a Brighton fan, so maybe it’s a Sussex thing. I get the impression that they’re the Salford of the south. Am I right in thinking the crypto bros aren’t their owners anymore? I can’t be arsed googling and finding out. Does make you wonder how things might have panned out if Chris Lees had succeeded in buying us.

I'm not sure why but this sign fucking enraged me.

Yet another load of changes in the starting line-up. One was forced, with Ogle coming in for the suspended Robson. Mellon, Caprice and Payne came in for Sutton, Simeu and Quigley.

We were then forced into another change in the 7th minute when Hannant got a whack on the shin and had to come off for Leake. We’re not having a lot of luck with injuries at the minute, but you don’t help your luck by not wearing proper shin pads. Hopefully that’ll be a lesson to him.

Crawley had the better of the chances in the first half, with Loft having an audacious go at doing a Michael Mellon, but his attempted overhead kick went wide. Alas, he gave the home side the lead 19 minutes in, when we failed multiple times to clear the ball from a corner, and Leake’s header provided an unfortunate inadvertent assist.

We had chances – Pett had a shot saved and a goal disallowed for offside – but Crawley continued to dominate. There was a huge let off when a mix-up between Monthe and Hudson allowed Dixon to play in the unmarked Browne, whose shot from the edge of the D thankfully hit the bar. Just before half-time a clumsy challenge by Payne gave them a free kick outside the box, and Ogle did well to block Roles’ shot. It was NOT going well.

Mellon snr saw that it wasn’t working, brought Stevens on for Caprice, and in the second half it looked a lot like the players had had a bollocking at half-time. Payne, in particular, looked like he’d had a rocket up his arse. It paid off early on. Was it a brilliant curling shot by Mellon jnr, or a lucky deflection off Payne? You know what, young Michael desperately needed a goal, and if you don’t buy a ticket, you don’t win the raffle, so let’s give him the credit. As his dad said after the game, “there’s only so many players in this league that can score that goal”.

I hear that we should have had a penalty for a clear shirt pull on Leake, but it wasn’t on the highlights, so I haven’t seen it. He put himself about a bit in the second half, clearing Loft’s mis-hit shot at the other end shortly after, then getting booked for fouling Forster.

Garner came on for Fondop on 67 minutes; him and Mellon jnr seem to like playing together, and they linked up well to set up the second goal. From a long throw, Garner headed it on to young Michael, who played a lovely backheeled ball to Stevens. He took his chance beautifully to notch up his first goal for us. We took the lead after going behind! Merry Christmas!

Alas, we couldn’t hang onto it, despite having The Best Defence In League Two. It was far too easy for Pereira to run through our midfield and play the ball to Tshimanga, Monthe got caught the wrong side of him and couldn’t stop him getting his shot away, Hudson couldn’t keep it out. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted.

The game ended suitably farcically, with the referee awarding Crawley a penalty and booking Garner for handball, while our players frantically pointed out that it wasn’t his hand the ball came off. Eventually the referee conferred with his assistant, reversed the decision and booked Flint. Easy mistake to make. Flint and Garner do look alike. Ahem. What a very League Two way to end the game.

I’m not gonna pretend to be happy with a point, but sometimes you have to take what you can get. I’d quite like us to look a bit more like The Best Defence In The League. Still, two good goals.

As Mellon snr said, “we put ourselves through it, don’t we”. He acknowledged that we were poor first half and needed to change shape and be more attacking first half. He praised his boy’s “brilliant temperament” and Stevens’ “unbelievable finish” and “maverick flair” and was delighted for him after his long layoff.

He was, as expected, apoplectic at the chaotic penalty shenanigans at the end, accusing the fourth official of going missing: “he did the old Homer Simpson into the hedge trick”. Is it me or were his post-match interviews nowhere near this entertaining last season? Stevens was more generous, saying that the referee deserved ‘massive credit’ for overturning his original decision.

Mellon snr also confirmed that one on the writers on Have I Got News For You is a West Brom fan who’s referenced him in jokes before. Fair play, this was funny.

We’re well overdue a win, and it would be the perfect Christmas present to get one over our old friends from the Insular Peninsula today. They’ve not been on a great run, neither have we; their away form is OK, our home form is pretty crap. Obviously, I’d love us to batter them, but I can’t help feeling this has got 1-1 written all over it. I hope I’m wrong. I often am. All the best, everyone. KTMFF.

Written by Arlene Finnigan. Photos © Thomas Lee Stacey.