Tequila, it makes me happy

Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da – TEQUILA!

We’ve had some great days out at Prenton Park over the years. The FA Cup victory last season. Dale Stephens scoring twice in Paul Dickov’s first game in charge. Craig Davies’ stoppage time winner in 2007. We’ve had some awful visits there, too. The post-relegation ‘party’. The 4-0 hammering in 2005, when Ronnie Moore said we made them “look like Real Madrid” and “defended like a pub team”. Last Saturday was very much in the former category.

When we visited them last season, we were the non-league underdogs pulling off a cup upset against a team a division above us. That was very much not the dynamic this time around. Since we beat them at home before Christmas, they’ve won just three games, and losing to bottom-of-the-table Newport was the final straw, costing Andy Crosby his job and leaving them looking nervously over their shoulders at the relegation places.

We met up before the game in the pub that me and my mates called the Shit and Shiter when I was young, which was hugely unfair, the Ship and Mitre is a great pub. We thought it was an old farts’ pub at the time. I guess I’m an old fart now. Ah well. Shout out to Kev Leach for once again getting the Baby Guinnesses in.

As for the game itself… we were again unchanged other than Sutton coming in for Caprice, and it was a game of two halves, dominated by Oldham in both. Stevens was unlucky to not get on the scoresheet again early on, when Drummond played the ball across goal, but he couldn’t put it away at the far post.

The opening goal was made in Cameroon and manifested in Birkenhead. In a move beautifully reminiscent of Norwood’s goal at Wembley, Monthe played an absolute Hollywood pass to his fellow Indomitable Lion, Fondop, and the finish more than did justice to the assist. It was a stunning lob on the half-volley into the top-right corner, and the singing of Tequila could begin in earnest.

📸 Thomas Lee Stacey

Ironside put one of Tranmere’s few chances over the bar, but we were well in control of the game, and it was no surprise

when we doubled our lead just before half time. Kavanagh – having possibly his best game so far for us – chipped it to Stevens, who squared it back to him, and he rolled it under the keeper at the near post. It looked an absolute piece of piss. Andy was at the bar and missed it. You’re all welcome.

📸 Thomas Lee Stacey

Ironside put another header wide early on in the second half, and the game was getting a little scrappier than it should have been, but the result was put beyond any lingering doubt when Drummond hit Tranmere on the break, his pace proving lethal yet again, and the referee judged that Joe Murphy, Tranmere’s keeper and caretaker assistant manager, brought him down in the box. I’ll be honest, I thought Drummond had taken a poor touch and the ball had gotten away from him, and I’ve certainly never seen someone get a yellow card while being stretchered off the pitch before.

During the lengthy stoppage while Murphy was being assessed by the physio, Fondop had the ball and was quite happily doing keepie-uppies. (Drummond, on the other hand, was doing this. If you laughed at that, you’re going to hell. See you there.) His goal in the first half was his 49th for the club, so you could forgive him for wanting to take the penalty to try to get his 50th, but that apparently was not God’s plan. He generously handed it to Stevens when Barrett, their substitute keeper, was finally brought on. Stevens is on fire at the moment, so of course he put it straight down the middle and under the keeper to make it 3-0.

📸 Thomas Lee Stacey

We took our foot off the gas a bit towards the end of the game, and it was very annoying to have not kept up our run of clean sheets, having dominated the game so much, but it was a very good goal in fairness. Obiero got their consolation with a great curling shot on the turn. We applauded the finish and sang Tequila even louder. Our players loved it, didn’t they? Some lovely dancing at the end. Heartwarming scenes.

📸 Thomas Lee Stacey

(I only realised when reading the match commentaries afterwards that Paul Dickov’s son, Max, came on for Tranmere at the same time at the sub keeper came on. Be right back, I’m just off to order my urn.)

We assumed that the Prenton Park pub would be home fans only after the game, but our mates messaged us to say they were in there. I took off my hat and scarf, thinking it might be pushing it to wear colours, but it turns out that they were quite happy to let someone in wearing a full club tracksuit.

What a lovely obliging young man Mat Hudson is. Kev bought him a well-earned pint (of ale, not Baby Guinness). And I can confirm that he is indeed 6ft 4.

Micky Mellon’s post-match interview was a joy to watch. I don’t know how long after the match it was recorded, but our fans were very much audible, singing ‘Micky Mellon’s blue and white army’, and he gave them a wave. He praised the goal scorers, and spoke about how disappointed they were to not keep a clean sheet, which was good to hear. He spoke about what a tough week it had been in terms of travelling: “I’ve seen the bus driver more than I’ve seen my missus!” And then, bless ‘im, Frank Rothwell OBE sidled up to have a chat. “What were our supporters like? Have you ever heard them so loud?” “Yeah, Wembley, Frank, remember that?”

I do remember Wembley. And I remember our previous visit to Prenton Park in the league, in 2022. If I remember right, our chairman at the time wasn’t there. We were owed some luck, and by Christ we got it.

Like most people, I was pissed off when Mellon appeared to throw Fondop under the bus and have a go at him last season, but maybe Mikey responds to that kind of tough love. Mellon acknowledged how brilliant Fondop’s goal was, but wouldn’t let him get complacent, saying “Mike needs prodded all the time, Mike can go into a slumber if he’s allowed” and that he thought he was “a wee bit joggy” until he scored. Well, if you say so. In Mellon we trust. When asked what the plan was going forward, he replied “I’m gonna enjoy tonight, and then I’ll probably enjoy tomorrow.” Good for you, Micky. Given that he’s a good Celtic Bhoy, I dare say he did enjoy Sunday. Me and Andy certainly did.

Our women’s team had a very good Sunday, progressing to the semi-final of the Open Age Challenge Cup by beating a strong Mancunian Unity team 4-3 on penalties. Unity are unbeaten in the league and we’re the only side they’ve dropped points against, so we’re something of a bogey team for them, if they can be said to have one. We went 1-0 down shortly before half time, and Melody Seagrave equalised in the second half to take the game to penalties. It was great win against a very tough opponent. Well done, girls, and enjoy your rest this weekend. They’re back in action against Lymm Rovers on March 22nd.

📸 Oldham Athletic

I am making absolutely no predictions on whether we’ll make the play offs this season. Not after last year and “Micky Mellon is not getting us out of this league”. I’m not saying a fucking word. The pressure’s off, I’m just gonna enjoy this run for as long as it continues. Bring on the cod botherers. KTMFF.

📸 Thomas Lee Stacey

Written by Arlene Finnigan