Now the time is here for Bunkabin Man to spread fear

Ah, what an enjoyable summer it’s turning out to be. I want it to go on forever. Not that I’m not looking forward to Milton Keynes away….

Although it didn’t feel too much like it last Saturday night. The France game was always going to be a tough way for England to start their Euros defence, but we started brightly. Lauren James (starting ahead of Ella Toone, to some surprise) blazed an early chance over the bar, and England should have taken the lead 16 minutes in through a well worked goal by Russo, but it was disallowed because it was adjudged that Beth Mead was offside. Judge for yourself. Looks level to me, and what happened to giving the benefit of the doubt to the attacker?

That seemed to kill our momentum, and it was too easy for France to cut our defence open for their first goal. We lost possession in midfield, De Almeida made a good (if worryingly unchecked) run down the right, Delphine Cascarino (no relation to Tony) got behind Jess Carter too easily, and crossed it to Katoto for a tap-in.

Within three minutes, it was 2-0. Lakrar’s challenge on Russo in the build up was definitely a foul and should have resulted in an England free kick, but that doesn’t excuse Bronze being hopelessly out of position and no-one else picking up Baltimore in the penalty area.

We were being bullied out of the game and changes needed to be made. We looked more attacking after Charles, Toone and Kelly came on for Carter, James and Mead an hour in, and after Clinton came on for Stanway a quarter of an hour later. Agyemang looked dangerous, and maybe Wiegman shouldn’t have waited until the 86th minute to bring her on. Keira Walsh scored a great goal from outside the box late on, and Hemp had a shot cleared off the line, but it was too little, too late.

📷 Getty Images

It wasn’t the start we wanted, and it made Wednesday’s game vs the Netherlands a must-win, or at the very least, a must-not-lose. They’re a strong side, and won their first game 3-0 (against Wales, but still), so we needed to up our game.

Wiegman has been criticised for being inflexible and often not seeming to have a plan B. Granted, in the last Euros she didn’t need one, but now she needed to show what she can do when we’re up against it. Jess Carter, who was repeatedly beaten for pace at left-back vs France, switched places with Alex Greenwood and moved to centre-half. Toone replaced Mead, and the formation switched to 4-3-3. And you know what? It REALLY fucking worked.

From kick-off, we looked much better and had more possession. Russo was unlucky to put her header just wide of the post early on, and we broke the deadlock 22 minutes in. Hampton played a brilliant precision pass out to Russo, who got forward and cut the ball back to Lauren James, who hit an absolute rocket from the edge of the area. Did anyone doubt that she should be starting?

We doubled our lead before half-time with a similarly brilliant strike from outside the area by Stanway right into the bottom left corner. OK, maybe the keeper could have done better, but it was such a tight spot to get her shot into. 2-0 up, what were we worried about?

It could have been 3-0 just after half-time, but once again Russo had a goal ruled out by VAR, this time for Williamson apparently being offside. Honestly, what does she have to do to score? She’s more than earned a goal.

We didn’t have to wait too long, though. Some pretty awful Dutch defending could only knock Hemp’s shot in a crowded box as far as James, who isn’t someone you should leave basically unmarked six yards out.

Less than 10 minutes later, it was 4. Russo, who was superb, set up her best mate Toone, who made a great run into the box and hit her shot under the keeper, who really should have done better with it. Still, don’t buy a ticket, you don’t win the raffle.

James came off for Kelly shortly after, which was a bit arl arse when she was on a hat-trick and we were coasting. At the risk of being all gossipy, Mead came on for Toone, 11 minutes after her partner, Meidema, was subbed off. Reckon they’re not allowed to play against each other?

It was a vastly improved performance, up there with the men’s performance vs the Netherlands in 1996. The women managed to keep a clean sheet, though. If we beat Wales on Sunday, we’re through to the knockout stage, and let’s face it, if we don’t win that, we deserve to go home early.

📷 Simpsons England

Alas, the Boreal Owls are out. And I had a lovely ‘the owls eat the cheese’ tweet ready to go in stoppage time before Switzerland equalised. Unlucky, Finland. If it’s any consolation, you had the best shirts.

It’s been a characteristically fun week on Planet Latics. The new shirt was unveiled at the anniversary do as I was finishing off last week’s blog, and the reaction to it appears to have put the club off officially announcing it on the website or on social media. I’m not massively fussed on it, I’d probably prefer it if it was all (or mainly) blue, but you know what, I like Bunkabin Man. Justice for Bunkabin Man. Je suis Bunkabin Man. We are all Bunkabin Man. If the club bin it off and go to great expense designing and producing a new one, y’all who slagged off the original had better buy it.

📷 Chris Stott

The comings and goings keep a-comin’ and a-goin’. On Monday we announced the signing of Jack Stevens from Solihull. He’s 24, he’s a pacy winger, he scored an overhead kick at Boundary Park, and he scored 14 goals in 30 games last season. PARKLIFE! Oh yeah, and he’s Phil Daniels’ nephew.

We then immediately reverted to type and signed a 31-year-old midfielder who Mellon’s managed before. Ryan Woods does look good, though. Played most of his career in the Championship and was apparently known as ‘the ginger Pirlo’ at Shrewsbury. Guess he’ll have to fight Oli Hammond for that title here.

📷 Oldham Athletic

In a bid to bring down the average age of the squad, we’ve re-signed Kai Payne from Wigan on a season long loan, which I’m made up about. He looked impressive last season, especially in the win at Tranmere. Hopefully he has a bit more luck fitness-wise this year.

📷 Oldham Athletic

It looks very much like the play off final was the last we’ll see of James Norwood, who’s on trial at Fleetwood. Does Fleetwood have a Nando’s? If it is farewell, then thank you for the greatest goal ever scored at Wembley, Nors. What a way to bow out.

📷 Phill Smith

Another of our play-off heroes, Joe Pritchard, has left for Rochdale. Think he could have done better to be honest, I hope they’re paying him well. Thanks for everything, Joe. Oh, how we enjoyed those goals against Halifax and York.

📷 Phill Smith

I'm usually mithering you for money for something or other, and this week I'm doing it twice. OASF have done a fantastic job raising money to buy season tickets for people who can't afford them, but they don't have enough for everyone who's been nominated for one. You can donate here. And/or if you feel like throwing money at something silly, we're doing a print fanzine to give out free with the help of Pete Mason of Beyond the Boundary. It's gonna be Shaticstastic. You can help fund the print run here.

As Mellon told us yesterday, football moves on. The players who got us back into the Football League will always be heroes. We now need to push on for our next promotion and create new heroes. Sure is nice to be starting a season looking to continue the momentum from a Wembley win.

Speaking of building on winning a final at Wembley... After a nervy, disappointing start, England showed something more like the spirit of 2022 against the Netherlands. They've got an ideal chance to build on that on Sunday vs Wales, who, with all due respect, we should be hammering. Wear sunscreen, drink plenty of water and enjoy the match. KTMFF.

📷 Lionesses

Written by Arlene Finnigan