Give us goals, Joe Garner, til promotion comes

What a difference a 2-0 home win against the absolute worst team in the league makes! We’re on our way. To Wembley. To the Football League. Micky Mellon IS a football genius.

Let’s be honest, Ebbsfleet were utterly awful. Their relegation was confirmed some time ago, and they haven’t won away all season. If we couldn’t beat them, the pissboil would have been entirely justified.

We were well on top from kick off, and Pritchard was unlucky to not score when he hit the post from a corner 4 minutes in. I suspect the referee felt sorry for them, as he was letting a fair bit go. For our part, though, we were a bit sloppy first half, hitting shots wide and misplacing passes. The atmosphere could have been very different at half-time if we’d failed to make our dominance over the league’s whipping boys count.

The referee seemed to take an instant dislike to Joe Garner and his dark arts/magnificent shithousery, but he couldn’t not give a penalty when he was tripped not once but twice just inside the area. Garner took it himself (well would you argue with him?) and put it straight down the middle, no messing about, 1-0.

Yoganathan had another great game and did everything but score. He chased down a long ball from Hudson just before half-time and his shot from the edge of the box drew a great save from their keeper. Credit it where it’s due, their goalie had a hell of a game, and pretty much single-handedly stopped us giving them a hammering. He did very well to get down to put Kitching’s header from inside the 6-yard box wide after Pritchard put a dangerous cross in.

63 minutes in, Evans came on for Rossiter and Fondop came on for Harratt. It was a little surprising that it was Harratt who came off and not Garner, who looks old enough to be his dad, but Mellon obviously doesn’t think Harratt’s ready to play 90 minutes, and it proved to be the right decision.

Mikey, bless ‘im, had a bit too much time to think about his shot when one-on-one with the keeper, who made a great save from his attempted chip. Yoganathan also drew a good save from a one-on-one. How the hell were we still only 1-0 up?

Our minds were put at rest in the 86th minute. Their number 11 sprinted to stop an overhit pass from one his team-mates going out for a throw-in, and Pritchard said, “thank you very much”, nicked the ball off him and ran down the right with it. He played it to Fondop on the edge of the area, who laid it off for Yoganathan, whose thunderbastard of a shot rattled the bar. Garner, whose place in the starting line-up I rolled my eyes at and who I thought should have come off for Fondop, was perfectly placed to put the rebound away with a lovely looping header. I am a fucking idiot and Micky Mellon is a football genius.

The celebrations were heartening – all the players were delighted for Garner, and quite a few of them made a point of going over and congratulating Yoganathan, visibly gutted at not having a goal to show for his brilliant performance, for setting up the goal with his initial shot.

Mellon was justifiably pleased with the performance and confirmed that Garner started because “I wanted to try and get two up top” – hallelujah, music to my fucking ears – and Fondop hadn’t trained all week. He did look like he was a yard or so off the pace when he came on, hopefully he can shake that off. He also reminded us that “I love the play offs” – this is kind of his specialist subject, and he wants to attack the games and use his experience. This is what we appointed him for. Let’s hope it pays off.

A big part of the great atmosphere last Monday – and all season, and for the last decade or so – was the buzz generated by the Athleticos, so it’s only right to pay tribute to Ryan Green, who set the group up along with Cameron Whitworth in 2012. Ryan’s taking a step back from his role as ultra-in-chief at the end of the season and passing the megaphone on to Cameron. Cheers for everything, Ryan. If you want to help continue his legacy (legacy?! fucking hell Arlene he’s having a lie in on a Saturday, he’s not dead), you can donate to the Athleticos’ fundraiser for a tifo for the Halifax game here.

If you’re missing your sports fix today, the Roughyeds are playing Toulouse at home at 5pm tonight. Boundary Park playing host to Toulouse and Halifax within the space of 5 days, what a time to be alive. Tickets are selling fast, it should be a good crowd (imagine if Toulouse bring more away fans than Halifax, I’ll piss myself), the weather’s going to be glorious, come and drink beer in the sunshine, it’ll be a great evening.

It will be a complete travesty if we get promoted. We’ve underachieved this season and we’ve been largely rubbish since Christmas. All of which would make it very funny if we go up. Our crappy league form doesn’t matter anymore. The league season is over. We’re in a knockout competition now. Let’s just throw fucking everything at it and see what happens. Prove me wrong, Micky. KTMFF.

Written by Arlene Finnigan. Photos © Phill Smith and Thomas Lee Stacey.